When I first saw the post by Steve Sansweet on Facebook, I, like many, assumed it was aprank. We thought someone had hacked his account, or Steve was trying to be funny. Then someone posted a link to an outside site that claimed the same thing. A quick Google search later confirmed it; Disney are buying Lucasarts for $4.05 billion (half of which Mr. Lucas will receive in cash, the rest in Disney shares, which we hope aren’t like Disney dollars…). Another entertainment company being gobbled-up by Disney is bad enough, but this time it’s personal – they’re buying Star Wars.
And as if the thought of mouse ears on my trooper armour isn’t bad enough, they’re already talking about releasing Star Wars Episode VII in 2015. A new Star Wars film. Made by Disney. WTF.
I can see it now, they’ll either attempt to drag the few willing members of the original trilogy into the new film and have them “passing the torch to a new generation of heroes”, all of whom will be spunky but well-meaning teens/tweens with wholesome smiles and as much character as a paper bag who will deal with growing up and falling in love, blah, blah, fething BLAH!
Or they’ll go the other way, and ignore the massive, rich universe already created (much of it far too dark and edgy for Disney) by the films, books, games, and comics of the last thirty-five years, and just start telling their own story with little to no acknowledgement of the rest of the saga.
Ok, I may be being a tad melodramatic, but I am not a Disney fan – Tron is the best thing they’ve ever done – and Star Wars is very dear to my heart, so I’m dreading what they’re going to do to it. The Phantom Menace was enough of a blow, only partly redeemed by the latter two prequels (I now I’ll get flamed for believing they redeemed anything) and the Clone Wars series. If I see so much as a hint of Lightning McQueen or Mickey fucking Mouse I’m not sure whether I’ll go on a rampage or just curl into a ball and sob for the rest of my days.